Naina
Tonight grief didn’t come through a memory first. It came through a song. Naina . I don’t know what it was about the way it was sung tonight, but it felt like the music was carrying a kind of tenderness I haven’t felt in a long time. The moment the song began, my mind didn’t stay in the room I was sitting in. It went straight to you. Suddenly I could see you so clearly. I imagined holding your face gently in my palms the way I used to. Looking straight into your eyes the way I once did when everything between us felt simple and safe. Your eyes were always the first thing I noticed about you. Yahi aankhein mujhe kha gayi. This song somehow reminded me of them — that quiet depth they had when you looked at me. In my mind I kissed your hands, your wrist, god I remember feeling your pulse quicken beneath my lips. I imagined placing your hand on my heart the way I once did when I wanted you to feel how fast it was beating. Imagined you kissing my forehead. Imagined me kissing your eyes....
